If people don’t start clicking these links, I’m going to replace Link Roundup Saturdays with Dad Joke Saturdays. You don’t want that, do you?
* [On its 33rd birthday, here's "Blue Monday" played on old-fashioned instruments](http://www.avclub.com/article/its-33rd-birthday-heres-blue-monday-played-old-fas-233541?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_campaign=default) -- Because I love New Order and this is cool and you should watch/listen to it.
* [Man charged with assault after punching protester at Trump event](http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/man-charged-assault-after-punching-protester-trump-event-n536046) -- Glad to see he didn't get away with it. Of course, Trump's explanation for the incident is "a lot of people are passionate and very angry." * [Clinton "truly distraught" by Trump rally assault](http://www.politico.com/story/2016/03/hillary-clinton-reaction-trump-rally-assault-220591) -- Distraught, but probably not surprised, nor should anyone be given the tone of Trump's campaign. * [Hillary Clinton's backseat driver](http://www.politico.com/story/2016/03/hillary-clinton-david-axelrod-backseat-driver-220592) -- It seems David Axelrod's new hobby is trolling the Clinton campaign. * [Clinton's Reagan overreach: Hillary's HIV trip-up shows she really needs to learn the political art of shade](http://www.salon.com/2016/03/11/clintons_reagan_overreach_hillarys_hiv_trip_up_shows_she_really_needs_to_learn_the_political_art_of_shade/) -- Clinton would've done better to backhandedly insult Nancy Reagan than make up a weird story about how much the Reagans did for HIV/AIDS sufferers. * [These are the phrases each GOP candidate repeats most](http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/these-are-the-phrases-each-gop-candidate-repeats-most/) -- You could pretty much assemble an entire Trump speech out of his most common verbal tics. * [Trump doesn't own most of the products he pitched last night](http://www.npr.org/2016/03/09/469775355/trump-doesnt-own-most-of-the-products-he-pitched-last-night?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160309) -- "Last night" meaning last Tuesday, after Trump pulled out more primary victories, and responded to claims that his product lines had largely failed by trotting out a bunch of different items, including raw steaks. Masterful trolling, even if he was being a complete fraud.
* [Who gets to be Native American?](http://fusion.net/story/279637/white-people-claiming-native-identity/) -- White people: stop pretending you're all 1/16 Cherokee or whatever. * [Dear Caitllyn: Stop. Please. Stop.](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-a-jacobs-lcswr/dear-caitlyn-stop-please-_b_9407460.html) -- An open letter to Caitlyn Jenner, who at this point is probably doing more damage to transgender causes than she ever helped.